It’s not easy being a mother. We’re not given instruction manuals when we give birth to our children. It’s even more complicated when one or more of your children have mental health complications. My youngest daughter Mary was diagnosed as having Asperger syndrome at around the age of 12. Since that first diagnosis, her behaviour has gotten progressively worse, and other health specialists say she has bipolar disorder. Prior to her sixteenth birthday, she spent some time in the adolescent unit of a treatment centre that specializes in treating depression, among other things. She’s a very trusting girl who is not very well aware of when she is in a dangerous or threatening situation. As a parent, this causes me to lose sleep at night when I think of her being on her own and living in a big city, as she has chosen to do.
When she was released from hospital at age 16, she became aggressive and would sometimes verbally attack me. She would sometimes also verbally and physically attack her dad when she decided to visit us. She didn’t return to the family home, even though I wanted her to, and because of her age, the authorities would not allow me to have access to the address of her current residence. I had wanted to visit her and make sure she was okay and plead with her to come home. School had also been a troubling time for my daughter. She never told me outright, but she hinted that something sexual had happened to her. I knew that some Sikhs had been bullying her, and I wondered if they’d touched her inappropriately as one of the non-Sikh boys had done. Years later, she would admit to me that she had been sodomized by a variety of Muslim men operating in gangs. But after that stay in the treatment centre, she moved to a city quite a way away from our home. A hospital social worker who wanted to release her to that city, against the hospital doctor’s advice, asked me what I thought was the worst thing that could happen to her on her own in a big city. I wasn’t aware of rape and grooming gangs at that point, and I only feared that she would not have enough to eat, or enough money to pay her rent.
My family background is Indian Christian by way of Malaysia, and we also may have a bit of Jewish ancestry in our blood as well. We settled in the UK when I was 3 years of age. My religion is very important to me, but not so much to my children, who sometimes mock me because of my beliefs. I’ve also often wondered if they’ve gone out of their way to deliberately spite me. My son, who was raised in an environment that taught him a love for Israel, moved to a university, met and married a Muslim girl in a sharia ceremony, and instantly developed a deep loathing for all things Jewish. He was also taught this hatred of the Jews on his university campus. From what I understand, there is a lot of Jew-hating being taught and practiced at our universities in the UK.
Mary paid me a visit during a break in her semester one year. I heard her screaming in her room. Panicked, I ran upstairs to see what the matter was. She was asking two Muslim men how they got hold of her number. She was screaming at them, and they had the audacity to tell her that they would report her to the police. One of them sent a sexually explicit picture to her phone. I obtained their numbers, spoke to them on the phone, and told them what I thought of them. They laughed. They didn’t care. We reported this to our local police. I asked Mary what was going on, and she began to fill in parts of a larger picture for me. She told me a Muslim man was sharing her number to other Muslim men. When Mary told me that story, my second-eldest daughter, who was visiting at the same time, told her to pack her bags, and she took her back to the city where they were living and studying. My second-eldest daughter said there should be no police involvement, as the Muslim men would kill her. Mary returned to the city that night. On her next visit to me, I asked her if the two men had contacted her again. She said that she had been at an Israeli dance class and needed a lift home. She told me that these two Muslim men called her whilst she was struggling to get a lift home from the dance class, and as she was desperate, she said they could come and collect her. Before getting in the car, I understand the two men removed any and all sharp objects from her. They took her to a flat after giving her drugs.
My eldest daughter doesn’t like me, and both she and my eldest son wield a very unhealthy and powerful control over Mary’s mind. I should also point out here that my second-eldest daughter has been diagnosed as having paranoid schizophrenia. It’s very frustrating for me, because all I want to do is protect my children, yet they are all of legal age. I can’t lock them in the house and care for them against their will, and having mental health problems that are misdiagnosed or being treated with the wrong medication is not helping them, either.
I feel let down and betrayed and insulted by the institutions that are in place and which are supposed to be safeguarding our children and citizens. The data protection act was the biggest barrier for me, and the one I couldn’t overcome. When Mary was 16 and released from the institution, there was a period of time when I was not allowed to know where she was, because it would have been in violation of the data protection act. She didn’t want to have anything to do with me and therefore no one could release the location of her whereabouts. The police have also let me down. On numerous occasions, I have alerted them to what has been going on with my daughter — that she is the victim of Muslim grooming gangs. An officer from the Met threatened to hang up on me, and an officer in my home called me a racist because I mentioned the word Muslim to him. These men are Muslims. It’s not for you or I to say they are not. If they identify as Muslims and claim to be Muslims, then they are Muslims. If they ever go to jail for their crimes, they demand halal meals, prayer mats and prayer-rooms, as well as imams. And I also feel let down by the hospitals and doctors, who I do not believe have found the correct medication for Mary, although I am very well aware that oftentimes people aren’t taking their medication regularly, if at all, so I can’t fully blame the medical establishment.
I’ve pieced together some more parts of the jigsaw puzzle that is my daughter’s life over the years. The most harrowing of all was the night of Mary’s initiation into being owned and trafficked by her Muslim master. She was 16 and newly arrived to the city. There was a social event going on at the man’s flat. He locked her in his room and told everyone that she had gone home. Later, he entered the room when the others had left and he anally raped her while his mother was in her bed in the adjoining room. How could she not have heard my daughter’s cries? How could any mother have lain there knowing that a child was being brutalized less than 12 feet away from her? After that, Mary started to get visits from pizza delivery men, or else she was sent to kebab shops, and Muslim men from Facebook would come and take her away in fancy cars. She was so innocent and naive that she thought all of them were her boyfriends. They weren’t her friends, let alone her boyfriends. They were rapists, abusers, and they were making lewd remarks about her online.
Now her number has been passed around. Muslims are coming to her flat. One Muslim came to her flat for a massage, but ran off when he saw that my other daughter was there. These men are taking advantage of my daughter because of her vulnerability and because she is non-Muslim. Muslim women are kept under wraps. Many of them, even in the UK, cannot leave the home without a male guardian. They are kept strict-eye on, while our non-Muslim girls enjoy more autonomy of movement, self-expression and dress. Non-Muslim girls are prey, and Muslim rapists are their predators. Rape as a concept doesn’t exist within Islam. A woman is a man’s property. You can’t get raped if you’re owned. Rape does go on behind closed doors in Muslim households, it’s simply not reported on, and it’s not known as rape in the way we Brits understand it to be.
My daughter feels lost to me now. She’s hinted at feeling a need to protect me, and therefore does not talk about what is going on with her and these gangs of men. We have little contact these days, and I have exhausted every avenue in order to protect my child and get her the support and help that she needs, both from the police and the medical establishment. There’s nothing more I can do for her except to share my story and become active in spreading awareness about these gangs. She’s a grown woman who is living in a different part of the country. While she might have bipolar disorder, she’s also free to live her life as she sees fit. I wouldn’t have her sectioned and locked in a room somewhere. Instead, I will come out of my room and shout out loud on her behalf. The police have been useless, and I have told them that instead of complaining internally about them, I will be speaking out publicly for changes to be made to the system that will benefit the British public, including the police themselves in relation to their ability to do their jobs to the fullest extent of the law. As previously stated, my faith is my foundation, and I pray for my daughter daily.
EDITORS NOTE: This column originally appeared on Jihad Watch.